I'm not quite sure how to say this... Aw! Bugger it! He who dares. I think I've fallen for Mike, when I see him my heart skips a beat I start to sweat and get moist in areas I never thought could get moist. He makes me smile. I can't help acting like a child around him though, can anyone help me and give me some advice? Last time I cruelly mocked his feet, I said they reminded me of hobbits and they were disgusting. Curse my damned mouth.! What I couldn't say is that I wanted to Cuddle up to them and kiss them.

I've started smoking. He once mentioned that he thought Dot Cottons gruff voice was a turn on. Last night I drank bleach.

He probably hates me, I can see it in his eyes when I throw snotty tissues at him and bury his head in the sand.

It's just my way of saying I want to be in you.

Please help me find the love of my life. Anyone?

If he can't be mine, he can't be anyone elses I may resort to kidnapping him and tying him up in my dungeon and live a life of throwing all sorts at him.