So on Monday the Pollinate Summer Camp is kicking off on Anglesey, oh how I wish I could be there.

I remember the Summer Camp as if it happened yesterday and not almost a year ago, in fact, I have a feeling I will remember the summer camp for a very, very long time, we might be talking about forever here.

Actually, I do not only remember the Summer Camp very well, but also the things I felt before I left. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know much about myself in theatre or my creative process, I was fearful and anxious. What if I'm not good enough? What if my ideas are crap? What if they chose the wrong girl for this camp thingy?

Well, I can tell you, Matt Ball and my fellow campers managed very quickly to get me out of that downwards spiral.
As destructive as those thoughts and feelings are in general, in this case they were also more than wrongly placed.
Summer Camp isn't about that at all. It's not about being the best, being perfect, it's about you and your art, it's about helping you to do what you want to do, and for you to get closer to who you want to become.

Working at summer camp was like working at home, only in a truly inspirational and supporting environment.
Having been given some time off of my every day life and its duties and talking to Matt and to my fellow campers about my project,my doubts and my fears not only helped me to move myself forward and learn something about my creative process, but it also allowed me to support others and realise my skills and the things I am able to do.
There was space for fear and frustration, for vulnerability and self-doubt, but also for joy and success, the way I define it.
At no point was I asked to be perfect,to produce perfection, I was only asked to give my best, and I'm sure we all do that on a daily basis anyway.

As I understand it, Summer Camp was not about not making mistakes, it was in fact about making mistakes, try things, fail, discuss and then try again, it's your time to be brave, to be wild and adventurous in a safe environment.

I arrived at Elan Valley with a project that wasn't more than a brief idea, without any knowledge about my creative process, and I left with a concept and the self-confidence to stage the performance only a few months later. And I made great friends, people, who were all in the same position as me when we arrived, you're not alone.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that, if you're going to Pollinate Summer Camp this year, don't be scared, don't be anxious, don't doubt whether you are good enough,don't allow those feelings to hold you back, that's not what it's about.

Enjoy the experience and use it, don't throw it away. Make mistakes, as many as you can, try things and communicate with people, who might be strangers when you arrive and friends when you leave.

I would hope that you're all going to have a great time, but I know you will, so that would be a hope wasted.
Enjoy your experience, I must admit that I envy you.