Recommended Novel of the Week - The Star's Tennis Balls by Stephen Fry
Recommended Play of the Week - Withnail & I by Bruce Robinson (£3 in HMV)

I've just finished my fourth GCSE Maths lesson and must admit that, although stimulating dividng ratios can undoubtedly be, I did start falling asleep half way through. I'm resitting this after 19yrs believing that, having 8 GCSE's, 4 A-Levels and a Law degree (ooh, ain't you clever! You'll be a scholar you will!), there is something missing.

The only time I've fallen asleep in the cinema was during a film that I would advise jno one to see and is so bad that it hasn't even moved into the status of 'cult movie that's so bad it's good). I speak of the Super Mario Brothers movie of the early 1990's, a crying shame not only because of plot but becuase it starred otherwise watchable actor Bob Hoskins. Not even a Roxette single could save this arse dribble of a film.
The feeling that something is missing is, I believe, the spur that drives forward all writers, whether novelists, poets, playwrites, essayists, journalists etc, the feeling that there's one more story that's inside, that needs to be teased out like a stubborn egg up a distressed chickens bum.

Stories from the Streets was a wonderful experience and I found the supermarket sketch and the Grandfather sketch particularly moving, (not taking anything away from the other participants).

So if you're looking for inspiration this week, throw out your Super Mario Brothers Movie DVD, lock yourself in the shed with the script of Withnail & I and the finest wines known to humanity, and like the formerly distressed chicken, let it all flow out of you.

(Still available - Dawn of the Dave (by Dean Scurlock)- Amazon Kindle Store for 75p)